Tuesday, December 11, 2012

When Kids Ask About Sex Terms

My twelve year old has been asking questions about the meaning of words and phrases he is hearing other kids say. I cringe when I hear some of these and wish I did not have to have these discussions. However the kid has a right to know the true meaning, even if he loses innocence bit by bit through this "enlightenment". I have pondered over fibbing or avoiding the quesion but to what end? So he can repeat them when he doesn't get the meaning? So kids can laugh when he is ignorant of the meaning while they snicker and use that talk around him?

Sometimes the answers lead to in-depth sexual education questions. I answer those truthfully too. I can't believe some of the questions, but they are things he is honestly curious about and has a right to know the accurate answer to.

I can't recall if I ever blogged this but last year after hearing some horrifying information said by a twelve year old I told my son to please always come to me with the questions because I want him to know the real information. He said that he knows he can, and he knows that I tell the truth, and he knows that a lot of what kids talk about is just plain wrong incorrect (is what he meant).

Here are two recent words that I'm not too embarrassed to share, just to give some insight: tranny and orgasm.

and some new slang term I'd never heard of that (when I looked it up on Google) referenced a specific type of action that some men performs while masturbating

One more thing.

My younger son frequently asks these questions in public places such as in an elevator or in the grocery store aisle. Since he doesn't know the word meaning he has no way to know that it's a topic not usually discussed in mixed company in public places. My older son has never wanted to talk about sex. It's a personality thing, I think.

Parenting is a verb and it's not always easy. These talks are spur of the moment and I have to think on my feet sometimes. I am happy that we have been able to keep the lines of communication open.

1 comment:

Kay said...

I was more concerned when I found out "facial" was a sexual term. I had to ask my twelve year old to explain it. I need to find the resource link which explains the new lingo. My son knows my personal feelings about transexuals. (I'm truly lacking in tolerance and probably always will.) Orgasm is simply part of how our bodies respond to pleasure and I trust the creator and his wisdom so that's just part of physical/health science/anatomy/sex education. I'm not sure if I would care whether or not we were in an elevator if a question was posed. I don't think I've ever come across anyone whose opinion I valued in an elevator more than the open lines of communication I have with my son. Kids answer each other's questions in the moment regardless of whether they have the correct information. I might not have all the answers but I will do my best to find them. There is no shame in being human, and sexuality and sensuality are a part of the human experience for most of us. I hope to be a grandmother someday and I want my son to have a healthy sex life, not one warped by societies values and lunacy. It is not easy being the mom to a tween/teen. Ipsa Scientia Potestas Est. Knowledge itself is Power.