There's doing the alternative thing, then there's just plain not conforming, on a basic level, with society. They are two different things.
Homeschool kids: you do need to follow the rules. Period.
Every homeschooler I know wants to raise thinking kids who are independent minded. However, one can be a free thinker while still obeying basic rules of society.
If you want to drive, you must follow the rules for the minimum age of driving and pass the test and get that license. You have to follow the law to get your driver's license and you have to follow traffic laws while driving.
If you want to enter that contest you have to abide by the rules of the competition (even if the competition is for homeschooled kids). It's not a free-for-all, folks. Contests operate within a framework.
The mindset that all rules are optional and up to each child to choose whether to obey or to reject the rule is pervasive among homeschoolers. It starts with the youngest children, but you may argue that they are developmentally immature and that they don't truly know what they are doing when they refuse to do this or that.
It's not just the wee ones. I've seen the behavior continue through the elementary and middle school years and beyond. I was especially horrified by a middle schooler who kept touching artworks on display in a museum. The docent was so angered after many repeated statements to stop touching the art (while the mother stood right there and did nothing) that our homeschool group was told we may be refused admission for future classes!
I was recently made aware of two cheating episodes by homeschool students and their parents in a competition that resulted in the organization starting to limit homeschooler's participation. I had to push to get permisson for my family to run a free class for homeschoolers in the community and for participation in this contest. Yet even in this group I see resistance by students to follow the rules such that one team was in jeopardy of being kicked out. Two students just doesn't feel the needs to comply with the rules and they have decided it is their free will to determine their actions in the competition. It's a simple rule: you must do a minimum of five transactions, but they only want to do two, which would mean the team would be disqualified. This is absurd.
There are frameworks and limits whenever you participate in something designed by someone else with open participation from members of our society. Get used to it. If you want to do the thing, follow the rules or you are out. You will face elimination from the contest or endeavor if you choose to be so independent minded that you decide you are above following the rules.
The only time you get to craft your experience completely the way you want is if you are doing something completely independently and are not trying to join in with or comply with someone else's prerequisites.
When you boil it down, almost nothing that Americans can do in life is truly autonomous. Even if you seek someday be your own boss and choose to start your own business you will have to comply with a myriad of local, state and federal laws. You will have to jump through hoops for getting permissions, licenses, and so many things. If you are used to choosing what to opt out of doing, you may find that laws and rules prohibit you from opting out. You really are not as free as you think you are.
Homeschoolers can do a lot of cool learning experiences in order to craft an alternative education. However, there do come times when you have to follow someone else's rules. Not everything is up for YOU to determine if you CHOOSE to comply. The fact is, you must comply.
I hate to admit it but years of not being forced to obey and comply about a zillion things at school due to being homeschooled sometimes breeds kids who think they are the End All and Be All Decidors of Everything and think that everything is optional and up for debate or refusal. It's just not true. This is my fear with having mainly child-led or interest driven learning, or doing too many alternative "make up your own way" experiences, by doing that, it apparently sometimes teaches kids that everything and anything is up for them to choose or to refuse. That's not how the real world works.
Obey the rules.
Obey the law.
Learn to live with the limited freedoms you have. That's as good as it's going to get. Sorry to inform you of this, but someone has to.